Goodbye Blogger

Please take note: my blog has been moved and henceforth all new posts can be found here: http://divergentdance.wordpress.com/. Please update your bookmarks, links, blogrolls, and wherever else this change may apply.

Thanks, and... see ya on the flipside.

Captain Obvious says, "Poly Is Hard!"

So… I’m not even sure where to start. The main thought knocking through my head right now is: poly is HARD. (Cue some of you nodding your heads in sympathetic agreement. And maybe some of you rolling your eyes and smacking me upside the back of the head whilst shouting, “Duh!”) But here’s the kicker. As difficult as any type of polyamory is to maintain, throwing long distance into the mix is like throwing a wrench into gears that are already a little rusty.

There are so many issues that couples can have that a little face to face time and even just physical contact can go a long way towards healing. And being involved in more than one relationship means dealing with more of these issues than are typically present in just one monogamous relationship. But of course with LDRs that face to face time and physical contact happens sporadically at best, so essentially the equation boils down to facing more issues and having fewer opportunities with which to solve them.

Please, tell me I’m not the only person who thinks this is screwed up.

But then at the same time, did I not essentially ask for this? Was I not fully aware of these potential problems when I entered into a long distance, secondary relationship? I certainly wasn’t clueless.

Of course, having even a theoretical clue doesn’t ease the frustration, or the hurt, or the days and nights I feel like an absolute shell of a person due to these things.

Funnily enough these issues have been largely worked out. We’ve talked. We’ve settled on some things that should go a long way towards helping both of us cope with the aforementioned frustration. The difficulty of long distance polyamory is still there, and I sure as hell could still use a hug, but the continual fighting towards what were essentially unrealistic hopes and expectations I feel has been quelled.

I believe this is why I can think clearly about the topic for once and even write coherently about it without breaking down into a seeping, quivering pool of messy emotions. Which is good. Those stains are terribly hard to get out of the carpet.

Review: Mr Right Packing Strap

Mr Right Packing Strap

Welcome to the Babeland-sponsored review of Aslan Leather’s Mr Right Packing Strap. This review is going to be a bit different in that it is largely produced by my partner Emmett, a FtM transsexual and the reason I requested this product to review.

Objective:
The Mr Right Packing Strap is really a pretty simple contraption. It consists of a thicker elastic band to go around the hips of the wearer with a pouch made of leather and thinner elastic strips that rests directly over the groin. The leather, as with any Aslan product, is top notch and buttery soft. This product is made specifically for the Mr Right soft-pack cock, which incidentally is the cock with which Emmett chooses to pack. The pouch is made so that the balls rest behind the smaller elastic straps and in front of the leather backing, and the shaft of the penis hangs free.

Now, I was sent the size medium which is meant to fit hip sizes 34 – 38”, but my voluptuous femme hips are roughly 46” inches around and when I tried the harness on it fit me perfectly, even through the sit-down test. So perhaps that’s something to keep in mind: if you want this harness, get the next size down for optimal snugness to avoid riding up when you move around or sit down.

Subjective:
Even before Emmett tried out this harness I could see one advantage: with the leather backing acting as a barrier between the balls of the packer and the skin of the wearer, the packing cock is less likely to acquire the funky smell that is a rather unpleasant combination of silicone and old sweat—the smell that seems to accumulate no matter how clean the cock is kept. But this is only my theoretical advantage; the rest will come from Emmett actually trying out the harness; thus I surrender the stage.

Unfortunately, reports Em, this advantage is really the only one the Mr Right Packing Strap has. Otherwise it is unfortunately a dud in that the hip strap rode up (which, as mentioned before, may be cured by getting a smaller size) and that the leather backing of the pouch was just wide enough to not sit right and chafe his thighs.

Another problem Em noticed particularly with the pairing of the Strap and his long cut breast binder was that when sitting, the otherwise loose-enough-to-ride up strap would cut into his lower abdomen and the crease between torso and thigh. This may not happen if the individual were wearing a shorter cut binder, but in this case he says it was rather uncomfortable to the point where he had to lean back to alleviate the discomfort.

Conclusion:
In the end I have to say that it is very heartening that companies are taking genderqueer and trans-needs into consideration and creating products that fit a specific need such as this. It goes to show that Babeland really is one of the most progressive and forward thinking sex toy companies out there. With a few tweaks the idea of the Mr Right Packing Strap could be more workable but as it is, it’s a little too awkward to be the first thing Emmett reaches for with the purpose of keeping his packing cock safely ensconced in his briefs. We both look forward to seeing further developments in the area of packing accessories.

Microfantasy Monday - Breathing

Thanks as always to my homegurl Ang the Sweltering Celt for the theme! (Hahahahaha I can't believe I just used the term "homegurl.")


Strong fingers surrounded her throat, fingertips pressing into the wall behind her as the muscles in the palm clenched, severing her breath as cleanly as a hot knife through soft butter. Her toes scrambled for purchase against the slats of the wood floor, suddenly so much slicker than it had ever felt under her whole, balanced foot.

A soft voice murmured into her ear, dirty and nasty and delicious, the tiny caresses of air from between hot lips gliding over the delicate curves of her outer ear and arrowing straight to her wet, waiting, wanting cunt.

The twin of the strong hand around her throat found its way to that which wanted and pressed, stroked, evoked until every fiber of her being longed to gasp, moan, scream but still her breath was obstructed and just when she thought she was about to pass out oh god fall limp against the body in front of her that pressed her up against the wall no air can’t breathe oh god OH GOD—

The hand released. The breath whooshed. The vocal chords rang. And she came.

HNT: Whipped

So the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a a bit of a bust as an impact tool, but it makes quite the artistic decoration!

Click through for a pic of me all turned around... :D

Happy HNT!

Review: Red Mini Rubber Whip

Red Mini Rubber Whip

Objective:
I’m always looking to expand my repertoire of BDSM-flavored toys so when the Red Mini Rubber Whip came up at Babeland to be reviewed, naturally I signed up right away. And… well, this little spaghetti-noodle flogger is certainly mini! By my measurements, 9 ½ inches in total length (although the tag did say 10" so make of that what you will), about 6 inches of that being the actual tails. It is definitely a petite toy.

The product is comprised of thin, noodle-like rubber strands with clear plastic and two large black beads bundling the first 3 ½ inches into a somewhat flexible handle that is topped by a convenient cloth wrist strap. (Did you know that often times the wrist strap itself can be just as fun as the part of the toy intended for impact play? No? Try it!) Certainly a no-frills design, but I’m no stickler for having all my toys be intricate works of art so no big deal there.

Being made of rubber, this toy is not sterilizable but is able to be cleaned with soap and warm water. Caution is advised if any fluids are on or around the site(s) of impact. Just be smart, hmm?

Subjective:
The (very) small size and light weight of the Red Mini Rubber Whip make it ideal for sting factor. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that this toy was bred, born and raised to be stingy. I could not get this toy to be thuddy. Em could not get this toy to be thuddy. There is very little chance that this toy will be thuddy. And toys with a specific purpose are certainly not flawed. The flaw, at least in my opinion is that this toy is SO stingy that it crosses right over the line into itchy. Flicked lightly or swung full force, the whippy impact soon morphed into a not-altogether-pleasant itchy tingling sensation that left me scratching at wherever the flogger hit. This could be ideal for the Top/Dominant who likes to drive his/her/zir bottom/submissive a little batty, but for me… no cigar.

I was also a little uncomfortable with just how small this flogger is. I couldn’t get a good grip on the handle because there was too much overlap of my fingers and palm. This may mean that the Mini Whip would be comfortable for someone with more petite hands, but petite hands I do not have.

However! It did feel pretty good when used as a sensation toy; the strands felt great when run over my skin. They feel smooth, rather cool and very pleasant.

Also, my dog loves this toy. He goes absolutely wild when I flick it at him, and tries to attack it like he attacks his squeaky toys. I think this counts as off-label use, though. That and my dog is a little weird.

Conclusion:
No bones about it, the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a bust for me as an impact toy. I do however hold out hope that this may be a better match for somebody with different circumstances; I also think that perhaps one of Babeland’s larger rubber whips might work better for me so I’m not writing them off entirely. And hey, there’s always room in my toybox for more sensation play items.

Life or Something Like It

I feel that my blog has already shriveled to an existence defined only by MFMs, HNTs and reviews. And yet at the same time I'm not entirely sure I have much to say. Life is life as usual. I work an entirely unsexy job, I pay entirely unsexy bills and I clean up entirely unsexy pet stains. Should I even be writing a blog based on a sexy life I don't feel like I have right now? Heheh.

I went to a party amongst kinky friends a couple of weeks ago, and a munch not long after that, and yet I still feel stuck in a state of stasis when it comes to my kink life. Nothing much has happened since then, be it due to the busy lives of the local kinksters or maybe I'm getting shut out; I don't know. I haven't brought out my implements of BDSM in ages. My poor flogger probably thinks I hate it. I'm surprised nobody's called the Rescue for Neglected Sex and Kink Toys yet. I should be brought up before the committee.

My sex drive is still alive but often it's overwhelmed by a sheer need for sleep. Even then, though, my sleep is disturbed by dreams that leave me feeling even more tired when I wake and uneasy on top of that.

Maybe all of these are just lame excuses for not being the fullest person I can be. But then maybe when life gets a little derailed, things of a sexual and/or kinky nature are the first to be overlooked and overshadowed.

All I know is, I want my sexy back.

HNT: Topper

Because who can resist playing with a fun new prop?

Click through to see pic number two..

And hell, because I'm feeling generous, click again to see a bonus pic.

Happy HNT!

Review: Laya Spot

Welcome to my first Babeland-sponsored review! I’m pretty excited. For my first product, I was sent the Laya Spot by Fun Factory. So here goes.



Objective:
This little ergonomically-designed clit vibe is roughly fit-in-your-palm sized, made of elastomer and hard plastic (elastomer being placed, of course, where the toy will make contact with the sensitive bits) and requires two AAA batteries, not included.

This little bad boy comes in a variety of colors, selection of which being at the mercy of your friendly Babeland packager. Whoever loaded up my box must have been psychic because mine is in a very pretty lime green elastomer with shimmery purple hard plastic accents. GREEN! Hooray!

The Laya Spot is very user friendly, requiring only the push-and-hold of the plus button on the top of the toy to turn on. It starts at the lowest speed which is barely a rumble, but you’ll know it’s on because the plus button lights up red. Then to cycle through the nine steady vibe strengths, you just keep hitting the plus button. Once you’re at the strongest vibe, push and hold the plus button again to cycle through the three pulse vibe settings. Hit the minus button to return to the strongest steady vibe setting, then just keep hitting the minus button to cycle back through the steady vibe strengths and finally to turn off. Not the quickest method of turning off a toy (therefore not conducive to a quick turn-off if needed to avoid awkward situations) but certainly not difficult to figure out.

Being made of elastomer, the Laya Spot is able to be cleaned with mild soap and water, but is not sterilizable due to its slightly porous nature. Use condoms if you want to share. Battery insertion/removal is very easy; just twist the hard plastic cap at the end (righty tighty lefty loosey) and insert your two AAA batteries according to the diagram next to the battery compartment.

Subjective (or My Thoughts):
My first observation upon turning on the Laya Spot is that it is a relatively quiet toy. It’s not something you’re going to get away with if, say, you have a roommate on the top bunk, but it’s definitely doable if you have your own room and can shut the door. Really quite discreet. Also very purse-friendly, assuming you’re not carrying a tiny clutch or something.

As for the actual use of the Laya Spot… it is both a fail and a win. Where the Laya Spot fails is, funnily enough, in its intended use. From what I gather, the Laya Spot is intended to be nestled over the pubic bone so that the flat underside of the head is nestled against the clit; thus it administers its vibrations and (supposedly) brings one to orgasm. Well, this did not happen. For one, the Laya Spot did not nestle at all. Once I did finally manage to get it to stay put over my pubic bone without sliding right off, the vibe even at its strongest was not enough to bring me to orgasm by just lying against my clit. Sensitive though my clit may be, I need pressure and movement as well as the vibration to get me off.

Howwwww-ever. When the Laya Spot is held in the hand (either in my hand or in the hand of a partner) and pressure/movement is applied in conjunction with the vibration… ohhhh yeahhhh. That's where it's at. Used in such a way, this little baby gets me off VERY well. I love that the underside of the business end is wider and flatter so I don’t feel like my clit is being poked at with sharp objects. The very tip of the toy IS a bit tapered though, so it can deliver more pinpointed vibrations if that’s what you need. It’s really quite versatile when used in this manner.

As for the strength of the vibe: well, if you’re hooked to your Hitachi, this little thing may not be strong enough for you. But if you’re looking for something more in the middle of the spectrum, the strength of this vibe is perfect. And the various speeds – plus the pulses – serve a variety of purposes. For instance, I find that switching between the three different pulse speeds serves as a very nice tease to get me worked up; the strong and steady vibe is perfect for The Moment of Orgasm; the softer steady speeds are custom made for drawing out those delicious little aftershocks without overwhelming my now very sensitive clit.

Conclusion:
While falling short of achieving the status of hands-free, the Laya Spot appears to be simply built to serve and able to suit almost any clitoral need. It’s easy to use and makes my touchy and often picky clit very happy. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a compact, mid-range buzzy toy to tease out a clit orgasm or five. Thank you Babeland for letting me review this great little toy!

HNT: Teeth Marks

...But not the teeth in someone's mouth. No, these would be a different set of teeth.

Click through to see what made those marks!**

Happy HNT!

**If you hadn't guessed, what's attached to my nipple is the clip to a phone headset, the clip that attaches the cord to your shirt so you don't get all tangled. Yes, I am now perverting my office supplies. Gotta make being a desk monkey at least somewhat interesting, right?