Sunday, September 27, 2009

Goodbye Blogger

Please take note: my blog has been moved and henceforth all new posts can be found here: Please update your bookmarks, links, blogrolls, and wherever else this change may apply.

Thanks, and... see ya on the flipside.

Captain Obvious says, "Poly Is Hard!"

So… I’m not even sure where to start. The main thought knocking through my head right now is: poly is HARD. (Cue some of you nodding your heads in sympathetic agreement. And maybe some of you rolling your eyes and smacking me upside the back of the head whilst shouting, “Duh!”) But here’s the kicker. As difficult as any type of polyamory is to maintain, throwing long distance into the mix is like throwing a wrench into gears that are already a little rusty.

There are so many issues that couples can have that a little face to face time and even just physical contact can go a long way towards healing. And being involved in more than one relationship means dealing with more of these issues than are typically present in just one monogamous relationship. But of course with LDRs that face to face time and physical contact happens sporadically at best, so essentially the equation boils down to facing more issues and having fewer opportunities with which to solve them.

Please, tell me I’m not the only person who thinks this is screwed up.

But then at the same time, did I not essentially ask for this? Was I not fully aware of these potential problems when I entered into a long distance, secondary relationship? I certainly wasn’t clueless.

Of course, having even a theoretical clue doesn’t ease the frustration, or the hurt, or the days and nights I feel like an absolute shell of a person due to these things.

Funnily enough these issues have been largely worked out. We’ve talked. We’ve settled on some things that should go a long way towards helping both of us cope with the aforementioned frustration. The difficulty of long distance polyamory is still there, and I sure as hell could still use a hug, but the continual fighting towards what were essentially unrealistic hopes and expectations I feel has been quelled.

I believe this is why I can think clearly about the topic for once and even write coherently about it without breaking down into a seeping, quivering pool of messy emotions. Which is good. Those stains are terribly hard to get out of the carpet.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Review: Mr Right Packing Strap

Welcome to the Babeland-sponsored review of Aslan Leather’s Mr Right Packing Strap. This review is going to be a bit different in that it is largely produced by my partner Emmett, a FtM transsexual and the reason I requested this product to review.

The Mr Right Packing Strap is really a pretty simple contraption. It consists of a thicker elastic band to go around the hips of the wearer with a pouch made of leather and thinner elastic strips that rests directly over the groin. The leather, as with any Aslan product, is top notch and buttery soft. This product is made specifically for the Mr Right soft-pack cock, which incidentally is the cock with which Emmett chooses to pack. The pouch is made so that the balls rest behind the smaller elastic straps and in front of the leather backing, and the shaft of the penis hangs free.

Now, I was sent the size medium which is meant to fit hip sizes 34 – 38”, but my voluptuous femme hips are roughly 46” inches around and when I tried the harness on it fit me perfectly, even through the sit-down test. So perhaps that’s something to keep in mind: if you want this harness, get the next size down for optimal snugness to avoid riding up when you move around or sit down.

Even before Emmett tried out this harness I could see one advantage: with the leather backing acting as a barrier between the balls of the packer and the skin of the wearer, the packing cock is less likely to acquire the funky smell that is a rather unpleasant combination of silicone and old sweat—the smell that seems to accumulate no matter how clean the cock is kept. But this is only my theoretical advantage; the rest will come from Emmett actually trying out the harness; thus I surrender the stage.

Unfortunately, reports Em, this advantage is really the only one the Mr Right Packing Strap has. Otherwise it is unfortunately a dud in that the hip strap rode up (which, as mentioned before, may be cured by getting a smaller size) and that the leather backing of the pouch was just wide enough to not sit right and chafe his thighs.

Another problem Em noticed particularly with the pairing of the Strap and his long cut breast binder was that when sitting, the otherwise loose-enough-to-ride up strap would cut into his lower abdomen and the crease between torso and thigh. This may not happen if the individual were wearing a shorter cut binder, but in this case he says it was rather uncomfortable to the point where he had to lean back to alleviate the discomfort.

In the end I have to say that it is very heartening that companies are taking genderqueer and trans-needs into consideration and creating products that fit a specific need such as this. It goes to show that Babeland really is one of the most progressive and forward thinking sex toy companies out there. With a few tweaks the idea of the Mr Right Packing Strap could be more workable but as it is, it’s a little too awkward to be the first thing Emmett reaches for with the purpose of keeping his packing cock safely ensconced in his briefs. We both look forward to seeing further developments in the area of packing accessories.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Microfantasy Monday - Breathing

Thanks as always to my homegurl Ang the Sweltering Celt for the theme! (Hahahahaha I can't believe I just used the term "homegurl.")

Strong fingers surrounded her throat, fingertips pressing into the wall behind her as the muscles in the palm clenched, severing her breath as cleanly as a hot knife through soft butter. Her toes scrambled for purchase against the slats of the wood floor, suddenly so much slicker than it had ever felt under her whole, balanced foot.

A soft voice murmured into her ear, dirty and nasty and delicious, the tiny caresses of air from between hot lips gliding over the delicate curves of her outer ear and arrowing straight to her wet, waiting, wanting cunt.

The twin of the strong hand around her throat found its way to that which wanted and pressed, stroked, evoked until every fiber of her being longed to gasp, moan, scream but still her breath was obstructed and just when she thought she was about to pass out oh god fall limp against the body in front of her that pressed her up against the wall no air can’t breathe oh god OH GOD—

The hand released. The breath whooshed. The vocal chords rang. And she came.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

HNT: Whipped

So the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a a bit of a bust as an impact tool, but it makes quite the artistic decoration!

Click through for a pic of me all turned around... :D

Happy HNT!


Review: Red Mini Rubber Whip

I’m always looking to expand my repertoire of BDSM-flavored toys so when the Red Mini Rubber Whip came up at Babeland to be reviewed, naturally I signed up right away. And… well, this little spaghetti-noodle flogger is certainly mini! By my measurements, 9 ½ inches in total length (although the tag did say 10" so make of that what you will), about 6 inches of that being the actual tails. It is definitely a petite toy.

The product is comprised of thin, noodle-like rubber strands with clear plastic and two large black beads bundling the first 3 ½ inches into a somewhat flexible handle that is topped by a convenient cloth wrist strap. (Did you know that often times the wrist strap itself can be just as fun as the part of the toy intended for impact play? No? Try it!) Certainly a no-frills design, but I’m no stickler for having all my toys be intricate works of art so no big deal there.

Being made of rubber, this toy is not sterilizable but is able to be cleaned with soap and warm water. Caution is advised if any fluids are on or around the site(s) of impact. Just be smart, hmm?

The (very) small size and light weight of the Red Mini Rubber Whip make it ideal for sting factor. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that this toy was bred, born and raised to be stingy. I could not get this toy to be thuddy. Em could not get this toy to be thuddy. There is very little chance that this toy will be thuddy. And toys with a specific purpose are certainly not flawed. The flaw, at least in my opinion is that this toy is SO stingy that it crosses right over the line into itchy. Flicked lightly or swung full force, the whippy impact soon morphed into a not-altogether-pleasant itchy tingling sensation that left me scratching at wherever the flogger hit. This could be ideal for the Top/Dominant who likes to drive his/her/zir bottom/submissive a little batty, but for me… no cigar.

I was also a little uncomfortable with just how small this flogger is. I couldn’t get a good grip on the handle because there was too much overlap of my fingers and palm. This may mean that the Mini Whip would be comfortable for someone with more petite hands, but petite hands I do not have.

However! It did feel pretty good when used as a sensation toy; the strands felt great when run over my skin. They feel smooth, rather cool and very pleasant.

Also, my dog loves this toy. He goes absolutely wild when I flick it at him, and tries to attack it like he attacks his squeaky toys. I think this counts as off-label use, though. That and my dog is a little weird.

No bones about it, the Red Mini Rubber Whip was a bust for me as an impact toy. I do however hold out hope that this may be a better match for somebody with different circumstances; I also think that perhaps one of Babeland’s larger rubber whips might work better for me so I’m not writing them off entirely. And hey, there’s always room in my toybox for more sensation play items.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Life or Something Like It

I feel that my blog has already shriveled to an existence defined only by MFMs, HNTs and reviews. And yet at the same time I'm not entirely sure I have much to say. Life is life as usual. I work an entirely unsexy job, I pay entirely unsexy bills and I clean up entirely unsexy pet stains. Should I even be writing a blog based on a sexy life I don't feel like I have right now? Heheh.

I went to a party amongst kinky friends a couple of weeks ago, and a munch not long after that, and yet I still feel stuck in a state of stasis when it comes to my kink life. Nothing much has happened since then, be it due to the busy lives of the local kinksters or maybe I'm getting shut out; I don't know. I haven't brought out my implements of BDSM in ages. My poor flogger probably thinks I hate it. I'm surprised nobody's called the Rescue for Neglected Sex and Kink Toys yet. I should be brought up before the committee.

My sex drive is still alive but often it's overwhelmed by a sheer need for sleep. Even then, though, my sleep is disturbed by dreams that leave me feeling even more tired when I wake and uneasy on top of that.

Maybe all of these are just lame excuses for not being the fullest person I can be. But then maybe when life gets a little derailed, things of a sexual and/or kinky nature are the first to be overlooked and overshadowed.

All I know is, I want my sexy back.