Differentiation

At what point does flying become falling?

-Gasm

It occurred to me today that in relative comparison to its new offshoots, “orgasm” has almost become a boring word! Let’s have a lookover, shall we?

The foundation of them all, the traditional orgasm: well hell, we all know what an orgasm is, yes? If not… well well well, maybe it’s time you learn!

But now there’s more. There’s the foodgasm: that really amazing “mmmm” reaction you get when you bite into a really well-cooked meal, or your favorite food. Often, like in a true orgasm, the eyes will roll back into the head and will sometimes even be accompanied by a full-body shudder.

Then there’s one I only recently discovered, the numbergasm: a term describing the “OMGawesome” amused feeling one gets when a certain set of numbers stands out to the eye. For example, my most recent numbergasm revolved around the date March 6th of this year – 03/06/09!

And what about the LOLgasm? That oh so wonderful feeling when you’re laughing so hard, tears are streaming down your face – which is hurting from being contorted in such a manner for so long – your stomach muscles are cramping (mmm, sound familiar?) and the feeling spreads through your body much like the waves of an orgasm. This one even comes complete with its own afterglow! (Although I imagine the tryptophan-induced coma one incurs after a really HUGE Thanksgiving dinner is pretty damn close to the post-coital glow…)

The best thing about orgasm is that it can be compounded with just about any other word out there to create your very own customized –gasm. What are yours?

The first one that jumps to my mind is a tequilagasm, describing the intensely wonderful feeling I get when I drink tequila in any form. This one, I feel, is actually closely related to the orgasm itself because typically when I drink, I get very, very inappropriately horny – and we all know where that goes!

My personal favorite is the dancegasm, which is the giddy, euphoria-high feeling I get when I bellydance, even if it’s just goofing around my living room. What can I say? Something about shaking my ass just feels awesome!

So… what –gasms do you claim?

The Players

There comes a point in every blog when the writer herself becomes overwhelmed with the amount of initials used and feels she must explain further.

This is that point. So, let's get started, shall we?

M: my primary and life partner. Six months younger than I. We met in college when he was my then-girlfriend's best friend. Since starting this blog he has embarked on the journey of transitioning from female to male, which is very exciting. You'll see me refer to him less and less as "M" and more so as "Em" or "Emmett" now, because for me "M" is just reminiscent of his pre-trans life. I do write updates on his transitioning here, but for the news straight from the horse's mouth, see his blog.

Kyle: my boyfriend, or the "secondary" if you will. Our relationship is still quite new but I am very optimistic that there is much potential in it for greatness, and I am very much looking forward to seeing where and how it goes. Most will recognize him as ButchtasticKyle of Twitter and his own blog.

Q: my Fairy KinkMother. A good friend whom I met in the local scene - she kind of took Em and I under her wing. She is kind of a universal, fluid type of person: I couldn't stick any one label on her. Queer, kinky, switchy... all fit, but only to an extent, because I swear the woman transcends labels.

As a side note, you will also probably see me mention C and D in relation to Q. C is her husband and D is her girlfriend/submissive whom I have recently dubbed my Fairy KinkAuntie. Yes, apparently poly relationships abound in this extended family of mine.

I also mention my mother a lot, but that's self explanatory and I really don't use an initial for her. What you should know about my mother is that she is divorced from my father and is also kinky and poly. Fun factoid: she is the one who introduced me to FetLife. I know I drove her crazy growing up - I had quite the attitude and the mouth to match - but now that I am out of adolescence and also not living with her, we get along very well.

So I guess that's it for now! I'm sure this list will remain ever changing and expanding...

A Dinner of Many

Here’s an intriguing thought: I went out with seven (well, seven and a half, but this story focuses on the adults attending) other people last night. So eight of us total. Me of course, M, J, my mother and her man, my Fairy KinkMother Q, her husband C and their girlfriend D. (The “half” was Q and C’s little girl fondly known as Boo.)

The kicker? Every last adult at that table was in a poly relationship of some sort. There’s M, J and I; there’s Q, C and D, and then my mom and her man – he actually has a primary who just prefers to stay home instead of going out.

I relayed this observation to the table in general and yeah, they all got a kick out of it too. It’s really just funny how things end up like that. For Q, C and D it just kind of happened, and same for my mom who just happened to fall for a man who has a primary. (Although, for the record, my mom has been involved in poly relationships in the past.) For M, J and I, I guess you could say it was a little more deliberate, as M and I pursued J with intentions of bringing him into our relationship on a sexual level, but the progression of that involvement into something more intimate was certainly not deliberate.

Not surprisingly, it was a good dinner. Funny how that works, when we all understand and relate to each other.

The sushi was awesome too.

The Best Kind of Surprise

On a slightly different note than my last post...

You know the kind of sex I love the most? The type you don’t quite see coming. Surprise sex has to be among the hottest types of sex out there. Easily one of the more pleasant surprises around as well!

Usually I’m a huge fan of anticipation. Hell, I still love the feeling of anticipating sex. Getting myself and my partner worked up, teasing mercilessly – both my partner and myself – making both of us yearn with mind and body. But I am the kind that loves to tease ruthlessly, then fall asleep… and wake up being fucked. Or wake up with my mouth precariously close to a nipple and take some serious advantage of it.

Ohhhh, there is nothing hotter than surprise wakeup sex. It just sets the tone for the whole day. There is no sweeter “good morning” than a gasping, moaning, screaming, two-fistfuls-of-bedsheets orgasm. There’s just something about the lack of inhibitions in that not-quite-awake dream state, particularly if I am waking up out of a really hot dream. Gone are the qualms, the practicalities of the conscious part of the mind that cloud my sexuality and make me a colder, harder person. It’s purely instinctual, even animalistic. Mating. Rutting. Fucking. It’s a beautiful thing.

Even better when I can go back to sleep with my partner and start the whole process over again…

HNY!

Happy New Year everyone! New year, new resolution to keep this blog up, much unlike how I had been slacking off in 2008. That is NOT the way to create a successful blog, yes?

My kink life has not been horribly active as of late. Munches, yes; hanging out with kinky people in non-kinky situations, yes; working on Queer Eye Candy, yes; doing much to participate in the BDSM world realtime, not so much. Funnily, I am still feeling fulfilled. Maybe because it's not a complete drought - maybe because it's just another aspect of my kink life. I seem to go through certain aspects during any given time period instead of dabbling in all at once. Too much of everything and I feel overwhelmed.

M and I are engaged in a quest to corrupt and win over a certain grown son of one of our older (not old, but old enough to have a son our age) friends. It has been anything but boring, let me just say! I feel reassured every day, though, that M is open to having a, well, somewhat open relationship. Neither of us would go off on our own to have side relationships, but together it's most definitely okay to bring another into our relationship, if not for an addition to the relationship but at least for friendship and, of course, sex. :D

In any case, expect to see more out of this blog. It's good for the mind to get its thoughts out.

I find myself craving the bottom more lately. I was flogged by M a few nights ago and it was... incredibly intense, but amazing. Now I want more. More flogging, and other things - caning, slapping, spanking. I want to be tied up something fierce.

There's that funny thing about pain. It wasn't entirely enjoyable. Even the pain when I had the needles in my boobs wasn't entirely enjoyable. But I still had a smile on my face. And I still liked it. It's so backwards. But hey, I guess that's what "alternative" is all about.

God, Christmas is far too close. I really need to get going with shopping.

Meandering

The bubble of my immediate world seems to be getting more and more genderqueer. Taking M shopping for dress pants, shirts and ties. Scouting around for suspenders. I'm told that next up is a blazer-type jacket. I'm sure binding bras would be somewhere on that list if she didn't absolutely hate bra shopping so much.

I'm excited beyond words about the upcoming party this weekend. My first play party, around Halloween, and all the local people whom I've met so far and want to play with are going to be there. Whether or not I get to play with them all, I think this party is going to go very well. Now I just need to come up with a dish, since it's a potluck party.

I feel oddly disconnected from the kink/sex blogging scene on M's computer. I think it's probably because I don't have my rather extensive list of favorites and my feed reader. Luckily my computer is being worked on right now, so hopefully soon...!

I've been experiencing some frustration lately because I don't feel like this blog is going anywhere. I don't feel like I have a very large audience. But then I think to myself, why do I NEED one? Yeah, I'd love to become a fairly well known sex/kink blogger someday, but (1) Rome wasn't built in a day and (2) a blog, I feel, should be first and foremost for the writer and not for the audience. I need to remember to write to express and organize my own thoughts, not to get a few hits and comments. This blog is primarily for my own review and progress, and should anyone else take enlightenment from its contents, then that's a bonus. A bonus, but NOT the main point.

Of course, I say this and realize that I could very well be alienating what readers I do have. No, I am not waving the finger to my small little circle of readers! If I really intended to share these thoughts only with myself, I'd lock this journal down or write it on paper. Knowledge is power or so it's said, and I'm all about sharing the power of knowledge - particularly on such subjects as are considered "taboo" by the unenlightened.

Last night I was lying on my bed listening to Ellie Lumpesse's interview on her show Bedroom Radio with Sinclair Sexsmith of Sugarbutch fame. I don't know what exactly compelled me to listen to it again, but it is a really good interview. (I urge you to partake if you haven't yet.) Even better when you really take the time to listen to only it and not be distracted by anything else that's going on. The concepts discussed are really thought-provoking. The sex story that Sinclair reads at the end, too, is jaw dropping. The first time I read it I got horny. The second time I read it I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest. I could feel my cunt contracting. I could hear my own breathing inside my head as loud as the roar of the ocean. Somewhere in the back of my head, underneath the semi-orgasmic haze, I was inspired to write my own sex stories. One day.

Well, before I make this post too long, I'm off to track down more smut on the Sugarbutch Chronicles. That Mr. Sexsmith can turn quite the tale.

Present and accounted for

No, no, I swear this blog is NOT dead!

What is dead, however, is my computer, so I've been surviving on the bare Internet essentials using M's computer, which of course makes a snail look like Mach 5. It's ridiculous.

I am still vastly enjoying the Hottie although regrettably I have not gotten - or perhaps taken is the better word - the chance to have some "me time" with it. ;-) A review is forthcoming, however. I've been thinking more and more about it. In fact, I may work on it after I write this catch-up post.

Our first play party is November 1st! I'm insanely excited and already making a list of things I don't want to forget to bring. Its imminence has also brought into sharp relief how few pairs of sexy underwear I own, and in general sexy clothing. I have a black corset which I fully intend on wearing, but... that's about it. No skirts (that fit me anymore, ha), and only a couple pairs of pants I feel truly SEXY in. Time to go shopping! As if I need an excuse.

I've been thinking about just bringing the majority of my blog over here, since so much of my life seems to be characterized by sexuality, gender, kink, and all of the wonderful things that are addressed in this blog. I hardly post on my 'nilla blog anyway, except for silly memes and whatnot. We'll see. One thing's for certain, you'll probably be seeing more day-to-day type stuff on here. I love writing the big epiphany posts and recounting sexual adventures, but that's not all there is to life - not even all there is to a kinky life. I want to share the whole experience. Sorry if that bores you. ;-)

I need to get to thinking about a Halloween-themed HNT. Too bad I don't still have my cute cobweb-patterned witch's hat. Heheheh.