Ooh La La!

Who doesn't love cruising through sex toy websites and making the ultimate wishlist? Well, what if that wishlist were fulfilled?

This is your chance, courtesy of Ooh Lala! Entering is a snap; check it out.

And on to my wishlist!

1. Dichroic Spiral Curved Shaft Glass Dildo, £145. I've been dying to buy into the latest Big Thing to happen to sex toys! I've been putting glass in my stretched ears for a while; it's time my cunt got the same VIP treatment.

2. iKit personal vibrator package, £38. I'm all about finding fun ways to get myself off, and I'm drawn to all the attachments this kit comes with!

3. Penthouse Ultra Powerful Gyrating Massager, £57. (In black, preferably.) I saw this in a sex toy shop a while ago and my inner femme was drawn to the, "Ooooh, SHINY!"

4. The Hitachi Magic Wand, £68. Because I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have this in my collection JUST BECAUSE. Even if it's too strong for me, I hear it's a great tool for using on others...!

5. Remote Control Egg Vibrator, £25. I've been lusting for a wireless remove control vibrator FOREVER. It's about time I had one!

6. LELO Lily, £63. (In black.) Because, uhhh... it's LELO, hello!!! The ultimate in luxury sex toys; and so beyond my budget otherwise.

7. LELO Gigi, £63. Again: it's LELO! And plus, I love intense G-spot stimulation, so I think this would be a REALLY enjoyable toy.

8. Bondage tape, £10. I love the idea of bondage tape sticking to itself but not the wearer. It sounds like a fun, quick and disposable way to play!

9. I Rub My Pirate Duckie, £21. I'm all for the waterproof toys, and this little guy is so cute!

10. WET Sweet Cherry lube, £9. I've always been dubious about flavored lubes since a catastrophic run-in with mint flavored lube, but I love WET lube so I'd like to give this a try.

My grand total: £499! Whew, cutting it close to the mark there.

So hey, if you want your chance to win up to £500 worth of free toys, here's your opportunity! Get crackalackin'!

It's a walkoff! Er... I mean contest!

Nope, not my contest. (Sorry. I have no sponsors and no money to buy prizes out of my own pocket!) Just spreading the word about Epiphora's bumpy glass dildo giveaway!

Because seriously, who wouldn't want a pair of pretttttyyyyy glass dildos for free? I'm all about putting glass in my ears, so why not my cunt?!

Check out Epiphora's contest post for all the rules and how to enter.

WOW, What A Contest!

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The Sexy Blogger Award and... Me?

I gotta say, I’ve been getting a kick out of reading these Sexy Blogger Award posts. Reading what people view as sexy about themselves – it’s great, whether it be serious and heartfelt or completely goofy! It never dawned on me that I’d actually end up being a recipient of this award, but there you have it! Big, squishy e-hugs to Scarlet of the Femme Fagette for recognizing me as a fellow actually-kinda-boyish femme (yeah, that’s the technical term *wink*) and for counting me as a friend. I’ve got the warm fuzzies going on for real, y’all.

Okay, so now on to the tougher part: naming five sexy things about myself. I guess before I go anywhere else I should let you know this: I really don’t find myself overtly sexy or beautiful or any of those words I should probably revel in. I find myself… average, satisfying on a good day and passable on most other days. Even when I’m dancing I wouldn’t call myself sexy really. There are definitely some overwhelmingly positive feelings associated with my bellydancing, but… well, okay. That’s a big sidetrack. I’ll give it my best shot, so here goes: five sexy things about me.

1. The way I quirk my right eyebrow. I don’t know why exactly, but I feel kind of intriguing and awesome when I smirk and quirk my eyebrow. It’s rather fascinating how many thoughts can be conveyed through such a minimalist movement, and the variety of reactions that movement provokes.

2. The curve of my ass in well-fitting jeans. ‘Nuff said. Remind me to show you sometime.

3. My mods. Well-done mods are sexy on anyone. The body is a canvas and all that.

4. The color of my eyes and the fact that I got lucky enough to have my eye color match my favorite color.

5. The way I feel in my loose, abstract floral print pajama pants, a tank and a deep-vee sweatshirt thrown on for warmth. I’m so comfortable, yet at the same time showing just a little bit of skin… usually feeling kinda sleepy/happy from just having gotten out of bed… yeah, that’s a nice feeling. And, oddly enough, one of the few times I even come close to feeling “sexy.”

So there you have it, I suppose! Five sexy – or sexyish – things about me. Now to pass it on…

1. Kyle of Butchtastic.net because dammit, those sexy butches need some love too and this butch in particular is VERY sexy.

2. Kyle’s lover, Roxy over at Uncommon Curiosity because between the two of them, they REALLY sexify my Twitter feed and day in general.

3. My partner M, because DUH he’s sexy, that and I want to challenge him to find five sexy things about himself in this rather tumultuous phase of his self-image.

4. Nadia the Kinky Librarian, because her ventures in the world of kink and poly are enormously sexy and I truly enjoy her posts in which she shares them!

So there you have it. Sex on, my sexy blogger comrades!

-Gasm

It occurred to me today that in relative comparison to its new offshoots, “orgasm” has almost become a boring word! Let’s have a lookover, shall we?

The foundation of them all, the traditional orgasm: well hell, we all know what an orgasm is, yes? If not… well well well, maybe it’s time you learn!

But now there’s more. There’s the foodgasm: that really amazing “mmmm” reaction you get when you bite into a really well-cooked meal, or your favorite food. Often, like in a true orgasm, the eyes will roll back into the head and will sometimes even be accompanied by a full-body shudder.

Then there’s one I only recently discovered, the numbergasm: a term describing the “OMGawesome” amused feeling one gets when a certain set of numbers stands out to the eye. For example, my most recent numbergasm revolved around the date March 6th of this year – 03/06/09!

And what about the LOLgasm? That oh so wonderful feeling when you’re laughing so hard, tears are streaming down your face – which is hurting from being contorted in such a manner for so long – your stomach muscles are cramping (mmm, sound familiar?) and the feeling spreads through your body much like the waves of an orgasm. This one even comes complete with its own afterglow! (Although I imagine the tryptophan-induced coma one incurs after a really HUGE Thanksgiving dinner is pretty damn close to the post-coital glow…)

The best thing about orgasm is that it can be compounded with just about any other word out there to create your very own customized –gasm. What are yours?

The first one that jumps to my mind is a tequilagasm, describing the intensely wonderful feeling I get when I drink tequila in any form. This one, I feel, is actually closely related to the orgasm itself because typically when I drink, I get very, very inappropriately horny – and we all know where that goes!

My personal favorite is the dancegasm, which is the giddy, euphoria-high feeling I get when I bellydance, even if it’s just goofing around my living room. What can I say? Something about shaking my ass just feels awesome!

So… what –gasms do you claim?

Survey Whores Anonymous

Okay, can I help that there's a survey/meme that actually applies to this blog so I can spread my survey-whorage around? :D Onward!

1. Who eats more?
Probably me. M tends to forget to eat unless her stomach's about to eat itself. I'm the muncher.

2. Who said “I love you” first?
I... am actually not sure.

3. Who is the morning person?
Neither of us, although our work schedules have so programmed our bodies that we can pretty much never sleep in anymore.

4. Who sings better?
Me, although neither of us are great singers. I just have a bit more range.

5. Who’s older?
I am, by a whopping six months (almost to the day).

6. Who’s smarter?
Definitely not a question with a "me" or "her" answer. We're both smart in different ways. I think I may come across as smarter because I'm better able to express myself, but M has one hell of a brain in that head. She's just a little more quiet about it.

7. Whose temper is worse?
Hers, for sure. It takes a lot to get her fuse lit but once it is, it's a very short fuse and she tends to be a little explosive. I don't think I mentioned that time she punched a hole in the wall, did I...? Oh well, luckily for both of us one of her many talents is being quite handy around the house, so she patched it up. :D

8. Who does the laundry?
Predominantly me, but she's been known to start or switch out loads.

9. Who does the dishes?
Me. M hates doing dishes. If she's in the right mood I can sometimes convince her to help me dry/put away, but generally it's me.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
That would be me but only, I must say, because the right side of the bed is the side up against the wall. I prefer sleeping up against the wall if the bed is positioned correctly. Although last night we weren't in a bed up against a wall and I still got in on the ride side, out of habit.

11. Whose feet are bigger?
Mine, but barely. We technically can wear the same size in some shoes but I tend to go a size bigger, mostly 'cause of how wide my feet are. We're the same size length-wise but my feet are much wider.

12. Whose hair is longer?
Mine, but barely. We both have very short hair.

13. Who’s better with the computer?
Me, although funnily enough, it was M who got me from Explorer to Firefox.

14. Do you have pets?
Yeah, two dogs, two cats and a rabbit.

15. Who pays the bills?
We both do, although lately I've been taking on more of the household bills so she can pay off credit card bills. I should mention we don't have a joint account... yet.

16. Who cooks dinner?
Usually M. I'm not a huge fan of cooking but she's a master in the kitchen.

17. Who drives when you are together?
Typically me, unless for some reason I don't feel like it, or I've been drinking.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
We usually take turns, or the person who wanted to go to dinner/suggested it will pay.

19. Who’s the most stubborn?
I would say M is, but only by the most marginal fraction. We're both very, very stubborn.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?
Haha. For either of us to admit we're wrong just about takes an act of Congress.

21. Whose family do you see more?
In terms of whole family, we see hers more. But in terms of frequency regardless of amount of people, mine. My mother lives closer and visits more often, but she's the only one of my family we see with any sort of regularity.

22. Who named your pet?
Jonna and Shredder came with their names, Cinderella was named by M as a kitten (long before we got together), Piper and Xander were named by me. Well, I should explain a bit more on Xander. I had originally named him Alexander and he was just going to be Alex for short. But one time when he was still a kitten he got a raging case of the kitten zoomies, and we had just recently watched the movie XXX with Vin Diesel, and M jokingly goes, "Welcome to the Xander Zone!" And poof, that was it, he was Xander instead of Alex for short.

23. Who kissed who first?
I kissed her. Even after plying her with alcohol (yes, our first extraplatonic encounter was fueled by liquid courage), she was quite shy, so I took the initiative.

24. Who asked who out?
Not really applicable. After that ETOH-fueled night, we were just... together. One night we were just kinda like, "So, should we make it official?" And that night became our anniversary (November 21st for those who are interested), but there was no real asking-out situation.

26. Who’s more sensitive?
In what respect? ;D Physically I'm much more sensitive (teehee), but in the sense that this question was truly meant to be posed, M is. Emotionally I tend to be a little colder and harder, although it's something that seems to be improving lately what with certain... changes in our relationship. (Post to come about that later!)

27. Who’s taller?
Me, by half an inch if that.

28. Who has more friends?
She has kept in touch with more people from her past, but currently I would say it's about the same, as most if not all of our friends are mutual.

29. Who has more siblings?
Her, by a landslide! I'm an only child! She has, let's see... three (I think three) step-brothers, one half brother and one half sister.


I got a kick out of filling out this survey because in my head, I was filling it out for three people. Although I wouldn't exactly call that official yet. But unofficially... well, it seems we are more polyamorous than we had anticipated. More on that to come. :)

It's circulating!

I've been tagged! (I can't pretend I'm not pleased, though.) I don't know that I'll do 14 like Scarlet did, but we'll see what I come up with!

The Rules:
-Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
-Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
-Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
-Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I am a total dog nut. Hardcore. I love any and all things canine. Well, okay, that isn't true. I dislike certain breeds like chihuahuas, min pins, schnauzers (unless they're giant schnauzers), spaniels, miniature/toy poodles, and miniature dachshunds. In fact, I pretty much hate that people feel the need to (a) miniaturize everything, and (b) intentionally breed mutts, call them stupid -doodle or -poo names and then sell them like they're some rare find or something.

2. I'm a bellydancer. I do mostly dark fusion stuff, but my movement vocabulary is based in raqs sharqi. My bellydance idols are Kami Liddle, Amy Sigil and the rest of UNMATA, the Indigo, Tempest and a plethora of truly talented, inspirational local dancers.

3. I'm constantly obsessed with changing my hair. Changing color, style, length... I'm pretty much never fully satisfied. For instance, right now I love the color (dark, rich brown), but I rather want to chop it all off. It's almost mid-back right now, but I've been increasingly thinking about chopping it all off to a pixie length. And playing with curls. Ad infinitum.

4. I loooooooooooove body mods. I have 9 piercings - three in each lobe/lower helix, the first holes stretched to 10g and going further, an industrial and a nostril piercing - a host of retired piercings including tongue, navel and random ear piercings - and 4 tattoos. To me this is far too few and I will be getting many more of both as finances permit. My next piercing will be either a VCH or sternal microdermals, and my next tattoo will be a watercolor-esque tiger lily piece on my upper left arm. I also love the ideas of scarification, branding and suspension, although the only two I would probably try would be the scarification and suspension. MAYBE. We'll see if the opportunity ever arises.

5. Within reason, I will try anything once. I figure, if I'm going to dislike something, I'd better have a firsthand reason behind that dislike and not rely on the judgement of other people. And who knows, something I thought I'd dislike, I might actually turn out to like! For instance, sushi grew on me. In a big way. Anal sex, however, did not. I can give, but not receive.

6. This election is the first in which I've truly participated. In fact, I just registered not a month ago - Independent. I was too young to vote in either of the Dubya elections, although I knew I didn't like the man. After that I just didn't care enough to really do more than form a loose opinion of the candidates involved in whatever election it was. This one I'm totally in. And I don't think I have to say who I'm voting for!

7. My most hated chore is folding/putting away laundry, but I force myself to do it because I also can't stand digging through a laundry basket full of clean laundry and having it come out all wrinkled. Although, speaking of wrinkles, I don't own an iron. Anything that needs de-wrinkled either goes in a steamy bathroom or in the dryer!

8. Nothing - at least, nothing I've experienced thus far - gives me quite as much of a thrill as flogging/paddling/whipping/caning/otherwise beating the crap out of a willing bottom. I LOVE leaving marks. Of any kind. Mmmmm.

Okay, I'm stopping at 8. Hmm, who to tag...

CurvaceousDee
Shay
And, to expand it beyond the sex blogger circle... Dimmie!